Wistful. A feeling of yearning for something even when content in your current situation.

Putting a word to a feeling is a double-edged sword. It’s comforting to know there is a word to describe what is going on in your head, knowing that this emotion is normal and felt by others. On the other hand, it can cause discomfort. How can I make this feeling better and keep the image of having it all figured out be true?

In May 2024, I graduated with an education degree and landed a job at the school where I had student-taught. By August, I had settled into a one-bedroom apartment, feeling a mix of anxiety and determination to embrace this new chapter and make it one to be proud of. I had achieved so much, built meaningful relationships, and created lasting memories. People often said, “Just wait for postgrad,” “Your 20s are the best years,” and “There’s so much yet to come!” I was eager to experience it all.

Now, six months later, I find myself feeling wistful about my life. You might be thinking, “Caitlin, you’re only 23 years old. What could you possibly have to question?” It’s true; I have a job, a roof over my head, and a circle of loved ones who would drop everything to help me. Despite all this, I still feel like I’m staring at a puzzle, trying to fit a piece that just doesn’t belong.

The question that haunts me is, “What now?” I’ve been asking myself this for months without finding a concrete answer. So, here I am, starting this platform as an outlet to share my unique postgrad experiences, navigate the various paths before me, and explore the overarching feeling of wistfulness. My goal is to create a space where I can document this strange stage of life, discover new things, and push myself beyond the comfortable box I’ve built.

So. Follow along to see a 23 year old try and make sense of postgrad change. Who knows whats to come, but thats the exciting part, is it not ;)er.